ugh.

I felt horrible before I went to sleep last night, but sleeping makes all of this go away for a few hours. Atleast I thought it would.

Then I had a dream about Becca. And every time it ended, I kept having it, it kept starting over. It was super nice and happy at first, I made Becca happy, I was happy, and everything was okay. Then out of nowhere she was all "I wanna break up" and then everything got bad and it ended. Then it started over again, changing a little every time.

I guess it didn't make it go away.

I could find a way to deal with Becca breaking up with me after I saw her, the way Robert pretty much betrayed me, and everything that has to do with that.

But knowing I hurt Becca and made her feel terrible on top of all of that makes me hate myself.

I feel horrible. I hate myself. I hate this. I want it to go away.